Pickup strategies.

There are two men, who undoubtedly have a routine they have conjured up where one is the pursuer, the other the wingman. Their tactic? Talk about the approached woman as if she isn't there. I do not recommend this strategy. Unless your goal is for me to have no respect for you... then rock on.

One man walks over to me, offers to get me a drink, and begins a conversation. About 2 minutes later, the the other man approaches.

Guy 2: "Hey, she is really beautiful, man."

Guy 1: "Yeah yeah.... the kind of girl who knows she is fine."

Guy 2: "So how long have you guys been dating?"

Guy 1: "Whoa whoa whoa! We just met! We are not dating!!"

Guy 2: "Oh, sorry man. The way you guys were talking... it just seemed like you have been dating for a while."

Jaime: (laugh) "No no... definitely NOT dating..."

Guy 2: (Turns back to Guy 1) "Wow. That hair. I mean, that hair makes me think she might be crazy."

Guy 1: "The hair? Have you looked at those blue eyes? There is something behind those blue eyes. I am not sure what it is."

(This is when I take my cell phone out and begin emailing someone I would rather be talking to than either of these tools. I wasn't listening to what they were saying. When I brought my attention back to them, they were still trying to decide what was behind my eyes.)

Jaime: "Is it scandal? Because I have been told scandal resides behind these eyes."

Guys: "No, no.... it isn't scandal..."

Jaime: "What about mischief? I have heard mischief. I have also heard that I am just happy. But I think it may be that I just don't give a shit about any of this."

Guys: (not phased by my saying that I do not care) "No... its not any of those things."

Guy 1: (Turns back to Guy 2) "I can't quite figure it out. But I can tell you that what she has behind those eyes scares me and it makes me nervous."

(This is when I laugh and lose interest. I walk away, because I don't want to be rude and interrupt the quality conversation they are engaged in.)

http://www.ephemera-inc.com/

Men, this may work on some girls. And my guess is that these women are insecure, not very smart, or possibly super super bored. (It's okay ladies... sometimes we get bored... and sometimes we make mistakes in this boredom... I support you and I love you.) I can guarantee this never works because it is a smooth strategy to woo a lady. You know your tactic sucks when I can't even tell who is the one hitting on me and who is the wingman. And you really know your methods aren't working when I am hopping off of my stool, walking away from you, and I am not sure how long it took you to notice.

(Later I talked to the person that I had emailed during this debacle of a pickup. I told him portions of the story. He agreed that there was, indeed, something behind me eyes... my brain. Now THERE is a smart compliment.)