My sister took her youngest, Brando, to the doctor. She was speaking with one of the nurses about Brando and his relationship with the older 3 kids (ages 4.5, 4.5, and 3.) She explained that Brando does little tricks like jumping in the air and landing on his booty (even on the tile) and then all the kids laugh and laugh and laugh. And then Brando repeats, and everyone laughs and laughs again.
She told the nurse that when Brando gets up from his nap and enters the room, the older three children cheer, "YAY!! Brando!!" She then proceeded to comment to the nurse, "I think he will be like my little sister [that's me] and be 30 years old before he realizes that everyone doesn't cheer when he walks into the room."
First of all... I am confused, people always cheer when I walk into the room, it happened 5 minutes after she relayed this story to me... Secondly, in all seriousness, I really was 16 years old before I realized that there could possibly be a person who didn't like me. I knew there were people who didn't care about me. But to NOT like me... and to go out of their way to make it known... this was foreign and disconcerting.
As I have gotten older and wiser I have come to realize some things about myself. I have always known that I laughed more than the average person. I have always known that I am more entertained by life than many of my fellow human beings. And as I have grown in maturity, here is what I believe has occurred:
There is NO way that I went through all of elementary and middle school without being made fun of... is this even humanly possible? A better possibility is that I didn't notice that I was being mocked. I am thinking that maybe some unsuspecting bully teased me or made fun of me and I just laughed, said, "Totally!" Possibly added on to their put down... Then I walk away, face hurting from smiling, wiping away tears from the laughter, and the bully standing their like, "What the F*** just happened?"
I went YEARS not realizing that close family/friends were labeled as "Moody"... I just thought they were kidding.
On my 2nd day at the new job, a co-worker who was showing me the ropes predicted my "number" to be somewhere around 20-30.
As I was compiling this list (and I did have to solicit help from a friend, because I often don't even realize that I should have felt some sort of displease from situations or comments) I recalled a poem I heard long ago...
(Isn't he so cute you can hardly stand it?!)
First of all... I am confused, people always cheer when I walk into the room, it happened 5 minutes after she relayed this story to me... Secondly, in all seriousness, I really was 16 years old before I realized that there could possibly be a person who didn't like me. I knew there were people who didn't care about me. But to NOT like me... and to go out of their way to make it known... this was foreign and disconcerting.
As I have gotten older and wiser I have come to realize some things about myself. I have always known that I laughed more than the average person. I have always known that I am more entertained by life than many of my fellow human beings. And as I have grown in maturity, here is what I believe has occurred:
There is NO way that I went through all of elementary and middle school without being made fun of... is this even humanly possible? A better possibility is that I didn't notice that I was being mocked. I am thinking that maybe some unsuspecting bully teased me or made fun of me and I just laughed, said, "Totally!" Possibly added on to their put down... Then I walk away, face hurting from smiling, wiping away tears from the laughter, and the bully standing their like, "What the F*** just happened?"
I went YEARS not realizing that close family/friends were labeled as "Moody"... I just thought they were kidding.
(Ane... my other half in the winning to every "Cutest Couple" contest EVER.)
And that brings us to the present. I still think that most people like me... come on, I am a likable gal. I am still super entertained by life and am not easily angered or offended. I have made a short list that is by no means comprehensive, and in no particular order, of events in my adult life that I maybe SHOULD have been offended by... but really I just thought were funny and therefore just smiled, shook my head, and laughed.
Things I Should Have Maybe Taken Some Offense To
My father suggesting I become a hooker. Because then I would have something to do AND have benjamins.
When leaving my cousin's place he says, "Go be a bitch some place else."
A complete stranger asking if he can motorboat me.
When trying to help out a friend and offering viable options, he responded to my kindness by sarcastically saying, "Wow. You should work for NASA."
Man sitting next to me on a flight proposes that he and I develop a "Friends with Benefits" type of relationship (but don't worry, he hopes we fall in love at the end of it.)
My co-worker informing me he had a sex dream about me. Oh... and then telling me he has a second dream as well.
My strengths were described as the following: 1. Blonde Hair 2. Big Boobs
When talking to my mother about a certain gentlemen, I told her that I thought he was fantastic. To which she quickly replied in a skeptical manner, "Well.... does he think YOU are fantastic?!"
A man at a bar, who worked for the same agency as I, introduced himself as "Delicious" and then requested that I take my shirt off.
A co-worker measured all of the females mouths to see who's was biggest.
I was told by a male friend that it wasn't the conversation that was boring him... it was my face.
Being called "Easy Like Sunday Morning" (most frequently by family members.)
A bluntly honest friend leaving me a voicemail that says, "I'd be more than happy to tell you some things that are wrong with you... because I can think of A LOT."
A friend decided to come up with nicknames for another friend and I. He quickly named my other friend "Mystique". After an entire day of thinking of a nickname for yours truly, all he would come up with was, "Pam Beasly" which was another way of calling me completely average in every way. Even he knew it sucked.
Men that I either don't know or barely know offering to send me photos of their manliness. (Sorry, no link to photos... creepers.)
A co-worker trying to comfort a teenage girl by saying that "Jaime and [friend/coworker] don't seem to have problems with getting men at their size."
Nicknames like "Jaime Marie easy as 1 2 3"
My co-worker, after 5 months of employment together, could not remember my name. And he acted dumbfounded by his lack of memory because, "She's even white!"
The same co-worker thought that instead of calling me Jaime, he would just refer to me as "Sexy Chocolate" (I respectfully declined his offer.)
My friend's supervisor saying to me, "Jaime... your boobs are lookin' tasty..." (this one did shock me... but I still just laughed.)
On my 2nd day at the new job, a co-worker who was showing me the ropes predicted my "number" to be somewhere around 20-30.
Being accidentally given compliments by a member of the opposite sex that I would really like to get compliments from and when I say, "Thank you" he realizes his mistake and quickly retracts them.
Having numerous people call me names like slut, whore, skank, etc.
As I was compiling this list (and I did have to solicit help from a friend, because I often don't even realize that I should have felt some sort of displease from situations or comments) I recalled a poem I heard long ago...
The first time I asked her to dance, / she just smiled and nodded her head and giggled. / And when I asked her to be my wife, / she just smiled and nodded her head and giggled. / When I asked her how many children she wanted to have, / she just smiled and nodded her head and giggled. / That's when I realized -- she's retarded. -Jeffrey Ross
First it made me laugh... then it made me wonder if there may be something wrong with me... but even if there is something clinically wrong with me, it's all good because I am happy and I enjoy my life as it is. Boom.
