Bad news bears.

I regret to inform you that my cell phone has let all of us down this week. I went to write my weekly "Friend Text". I pulled my messages up on my phone. They were not loading. I thought, "Will you give it a second? It has to go to space!" I set the phone aside. After a minute or so I tried restarting my phone. My phone rebooted successfully. I went to my messages to try the process again...all of my messages were gone. Super lame. Lame to the max even! Totes lame to the max. (That is A LOT of lameness.) In this catastrophe I am really trying to focus on the positive things in life. Optimism will get us through this folks. We CAN do this if we support each other through it.

I am envisioning a gem for next week to make up for this one. I sure hope my friends do not disappoint!

In the meantime...

"You non-contributing zero."

I am legitimate.

There are a lot of people out there with letters after their names. Usually it is because they have worked really hard to obtain some sort of a title. They deserve these well earned letters. My dear friend Ane gets to add "M.S., LMFT" after her name. My brother is not a real doctor and gets to have "D.D.S." after his. Maybe one day I may add a Ph.D. to mine (maybe... MAYBE...stop pressuring me!) Soon I will be a certified life coach and can add "C.C." after my name if I so choose. But lately I have been thinking of some letters that should have been added after my name a LONG time ago. I have worked really hard and I think I have earned it.

I am Jaime Boots, B.F.F.


Yeah. Totes legit to the max.

(If I had older pictures on my computer, I could have made this post a lot more embarrassing for a lot more people! And there are more people I would have loved to include, but the pictures of us together are very limited...that just means I have been slacking in the picture taking department. Consider the problem rectified.)

Until next time my lovelies.

Friends are jokesters.

"Sure thing! oh wait, you're the sure thing..."

RUDE...but hilarious...and true.

As mentioned below.

First of all I want to thank Ms. Chelle for her help during my technical difficulties. It was touch and go there for a moment, but we pulled through to bring you this way average post... you're welcome.

In a previous post on drunk texting I wrote, "Keep 'em comin'!" I was intending to quote a SNL sketch from a decade ago. I thought I would share the video. The set up to the quote starts at about 2:45 (just in case you don't want to watch the whole thing.)



I think it all the time. "Keep 'em comin'!"

In closing I want to thank Loop Holes for making this youtube video possible for our viewing pleasure.

Blah

Hey Rachelle

Friends are intoxicating.

Or are they intoxicated? I had a couple of incidents of people "drunk texting" me this week. This is always entertaining. It is never a good plan for the person who has been drinking to pick up their phone. But for the sober one on the other end (me) it is a fantastic and hilarious idea. I think the typos are my favorite part.

Because I am super classy, and these drunk texters are nearly always embarrassed by their actions, I will not be divulging those messages. I hope you are not too disappointed. At least you know that if/when YOU drunk text me, I will not post about it on the internet...unless I feel there is no chance you will read this...then I might...a girl can only be so altruistic.

Keep 'em comin'!

This blog is not yet rated.

Sometimes it is difficult to keep my blog rated PG... Who am I kidding? We crossed over into PG-13 a LONG time ago!! Censoring makes things less funny. (Except muckaluckin' casserole...that's comedic genius!)

My friends are a giant part of my life. I mean, half of my posts are dedicated to their words. As we have experienced thus far, my friends are not very good at being appropriate. My advice to those that follow me blindly is this: When texting a friend that tends to be devilish, never tell this friend that you are in a location where you are not able to laugh and are expected to be quiet. Big mistake. Huge.

Clearly I am much more angelic than my friends...[long pause]... Although my accidental scandal alone may have pushed us over the edge from day 1.

Below is the only clip I could find of the TV censored version of Pineapple Express. (Which was awesome, by the way.)

The description to this youtube video is hilarious to me.
"People on television really don't like being called a casserole."

Friends are inquisitive.

"So I'm sitting here trying to be non-judgmental. To say the least its not working. I'm more perplexed as to how the majority of these people ended up married...my guess would be illicit drugs and alcohol, maybe some faked pregnancies, and the rest would be that they sincerely believed that there is someone for everyone..."

Some people should never reproduce. Our modern society has destroyed the flow of natural selection. When working in JJS, we called it "Job Security."

Sometimes I am not sure.

So my friend, Yatta (AKA my JJS weight loss contest archenemy) posted on my Facebook wall. He told me to check out a new commercial for Sun Drop Soda. I had never heard of Sun Drop before. But Yatta requested that I search youtube for this commercial because it reminded him of myself and another friend, Emily. I am not quite sure if it is a compliment or not that the video below would make someone think, "Jaime."



In the words of Emily, "Yatta wishes he could close the clubs with us!"

Friends are informative.

I was enjoying some alone time at mi casa when I got the best text of the week on the last day of the week!

"Fox news just announced that Osama bin Laden is dead!"

A friend quoted her friend by posting on FB, "Knock. Knock. Who's there? America. Pop! Pop! Pop!"