Dude has a girlfriend.

Dudes with girlfriends LOVE me. I don't even know where to begin with this post...

This pattern began about a decade ago. I had no idea what was starting that first time I was lied to about the existence of a significant other. I had no clue what had begun the first time it was commented that I held some sort of accidental power over a man. That first time was confusing and kind of painful. (That's what she said.)

Since that initial girlfriend incident there have been several times that I have found out that the man pursuing me is a man that is spoken for. It happens to me so often, I can only assume that there are many occasions in which the dude hitting on me had a girlfriend and I did not find out about it. It happens so frequently that I think I can go ahead and begin to assume that if a man is hitting on me, he most likely has a girlfriend. The odds are in favor of me being the other woman.

I will attempt to explain how the debacles usually go down.

Boy meets girl. Girl decides she will grace boy with her presence and attention. Boy is grateful. Boy comments that there is "something about" the girl. Boy says to girl, "You have a power over me." Boy talks of vague things like magic and not being able to help himself. Girl asks for clarifications. Boy gives more vague statements.

Then one or more of the following happens:

Girl sees boy with another girl.

Girl meets another girl.

Girl sees Facebook posts written by another girl that sound like things boy says to her or sounds like things only a girlfriend would feel comfortable posting on FB.

Girl is a honey badger and immediately asks boy, with a smile on her face and in no way confrontational, "Do you have a girlfriend?" Boy always says no. Girl asks about certain other girl in question. Boy continues to deny the existence of a girlfriend. (Now I have gotten smarter with all of my experience and I have learned that it is all in how the question is asked. Now after I am told, "No I don't have a girlfriend!" And given the, 'Bitch, you be crazy' look-- I have a follow up question other then, "Ya sure?") Girl now asks, "Is there a girl in this world who thinks she is your girlfriend?" For some reason this question is usually answered honestly... I don't understand it... but it works.

As it would turn out, my scandal draws in these assholes. The question is, Why? What is it that I put out there that says, "If you have a girlfriend you should definitely hit on me." I have asked the actual dudes this question... but I just get the "you have this glow" and "there is something about you" bull shit fed to me. My theory on why they give this as a reason is that it removes blame from themselves and puts it on me... just one girl's opinion.

I have asked several friends their ideas on why this happens to me so often. I usually get a lot of compliments in their response, which is awesome because I love compliments. But I don't really see how these things would specifically attract those guys that are supposedly spoken for.

Here are 3 possible theories that are not mutually exclusive:

1. I laugh at their jokes that their girlfriends don't laugh at anymore.

2. I accidentally attract what I can't have because then I don't have to do anything about it.

3. "You are just cool hotness" (this is the one phrase I chose to use in lieu of all the complimentary theories that my friends gave to me. I felt these 5 words summed up the collective conversations.)

I am completely open to alternate theories. I am open to ideas on how to alter what I am putting out there (other then my T&A... I will not stop putting that out there...)

There is that part of me that feels bad for the girlfriends. But then sometimes the girlfriend finds out about me and still ends up marrying the dude... kinda hard to have sympathy for that. I am self centered enough to think that when they are telling their "Love Story" I am the harlot that nearly broke them up.