He is perfect in every way.

It has been nearly a decade since a few of my friends and family and I began playing, "He/She is perfect in ever way but..." It was New Year's Eve and we were in Salt Lake City walking the snowy streets. The older brother kicked it off when he asked my friend and I, "Ok... he is perfect in every way but he only wears a tuxedo." We had some clarifying questions, of course. He CAN take the tuxedo off, he just chooses not to. He wears it everywhere. He wears it to school, to work, to workout, to swim. He always wears a tuxedo. Also, it needed to be clarified that he has various tuxedos so he is fresh and clean and not a smelly, nasty debacle. Baugh and I both agreed that if he was perfect in every way but only wore a tuxedo, we would still be all in. As I asked questions, I was having trouble finding the downside, really. For me, his wearing a tuxedo made him all the more amazing...

There were actually quite a few scenarios that I was presented with where my response was, "I do not see the downside."

After this question was posed for the first time, we became slightly obsessed with seeing what were deal breakers and what were not. The qualifying questions are always really entertaining to me, but also serious business. There have been dozens of situations presented, but I have a favorite that stands out in my mind above all others. My friend asked my cousin, "She is perfect in every way but she thinks that Bruce Lee could totally take Chuck Norris." This turned into a Bruce Lee vs. Chuck Norris debate that was epic.

It is years later and we will still call/text/email each other and say, "He/She is perfect in every way but..." This game actually made me realize that there are a lot things that I would be totally ok with if all other conditions were positive. But I think if he smelled like soup, I would be out.

Below are some of the various ideas I have been presented with and my answers. Remember, I asked questions and made very educated and informed decisions. This is serious business.

He is perfect in every way but...

he only wears a tuxedo.

(Yes.)

he chooses to walk backwards and only backwards.

(Yes.)

he is homeless.

(Yes.)

he sleeps in a coffin.

(Can't do it.)

he is a douche bag.

(Nope.)

he is a white guy but speaks with a fake Indian accent.

(Yes.)

he only communicates with you through song when you are alone.

(YES!)

he wears an eye patch even though his eyes are fine.

(So, perfect in EVERY way. Yes please.)

he sells Mary Kay, not ironically...and drives the pink car.

(I'm out.)

he updates his FB status describing every moment you have together, but only non-sexual moments... make outs are fair game though.

(No thank you.)

he only asks you out by text message and calls you dude.

(An extremely hesitant Yes... to the texting... I don't care if I am called dude.)

he wears a Groucho mustache and glasses while making love--i.e. you never ever have sex without his wearing it.

(After much internal debate, Yes. If he is perfect in every way he will still be attractive with said props.)

he shimmies every where he goes.

(This is straight out of my dreams. Hells yes! I love a good shimmy.)

he doesn't laugh when he thinks something is funny, he cries.

(I like to laugh way too much. No.)

he ends his sentences with "over" like he is talking on a walkie talkie. And he won't hear what

you say if he hasn't said "over" because it is like he is still pressing the talk button.

(Boom. I'm in. Over.)

he informs you that his favorite movie is Crossroads.

(No freaking way.)

It really is good times. Every once in awhile I hear of someone being enlightened about this game... and then they throw out something serious... and that is just awkward. Come on people, lets not kill the game with something like, "He is perfect in every way but he is a different religion from you." BOOOOORING. A better one would be "He is perfect in every way but he refers to all of his shoes as Jesus Sandals" (I would totally be in on this one, by the way.)