I am so strong.

I had the bright idea to call Crossfit and get the 411 on my local chapter. I talked with a man named Nick. He was fantastic and answered all of my questions. We discussed Crossfit and how the people in each gym become a tight knit community. This is one of the reasons Crossfit appeals to me. To have friends that actually live near me. To have friends where we do something other than eat at social gatherings. I believe Nick's direct quote regarding the community and everyone supporting one another was, "I don't like assholes at my gym." For this reason I decided to go to Crossfit and do a trial class. And it's Crossfit, so there is guaranteed eye candy potential. That never hurts any situation.

image found at cccrossfit.com

I went to the Crossfit gym. Nick was super cool and explained the philosophy of Crossfit. He talked about how his gym works. He had me do some simple moves to make sure I was doing them correctly. (Squats, push ups, ring rows...) Nothing like doing exercises while a stranger critiques you. Actually, I didn't feel self conscious as all. All was great. I didn't require massive amounts of form fixing. I am really good at following directions.

Nick had me do a short workout, and he timed me. It involved running, squats, push ups, and jumping. Running...I got this. I can run. I have done this millions of time. No big deal. Squats... keep good form in mind, no problem. I can do the amount of squats required. Push ups...how I loathe thee. I suck at push ups. I realize that because push ups are difficult for me, I should do them more often in order to improve. This is an even more difficult mental game to play. Oh push ups... there was a time (about a year ago) when I could rock out 2o-25 push ups in a row. It's like our moms were right when they said that we need to do to improve and that practice makes perfect. I hate it when our moms are right. Squat jumps... just ask my friend Chrissie how I feel about jumping at the end of a workout. I think I used words like "Hate" and "Murder" and I am sure even more disgusting words of scorn ran through my mind. The squat jumps in this workout were not actually as bad as anticipated. It took me over 9 minutes to do the workout I had been prescribed.

All in all, it wasn't bad. I never thought I was going to die. (But kinda wanted to end my own life on the third round of pushups.) It was difficult and I pushed myself, but it was a familiar feeling. I have pushed myself like this before. I attest this to my many workouts with Chrissie and Gina (my lovely friends in St. George.) Stairs at Dixie, Filthy Fifty, lunging to the max. I love working out with them because I always push myself and I always do my best. It is more difficult to push myself when I am at my parents house working out alone with commentary from the little bro.

Running stairs at Dixie.

Hiking in SG.
**On a side note, I had a funny memory come up while writing this post. I worked for Juvenile Justice Services for 6 years. I loved it. Loved the kids. Loved so many of my coworkers. In one program, we ran a daily group. One of my coworkers was from Mexico and had a pretty thick accent. To make a long story short, he assigned the kids several "sexercises" for them to complete.The rest of us lost it completely. I was having a difficult time keeping the laugh stifled. Hilarious. Once again, the juvenile delinquents and troubled youth were more mature than the staff. Ah well... it was funny. Hahaha sexercises.

Friends are intellectual.

I want everyone to know that I did NOT, in fact, know the answer to the following question that was asked of me via text this week.

"Do you know the author's name who wrote the Twilight series?"

It may be the worst book series ever written...and I did read it. Confessions of a half-ass blogger.

Sometimes I use profanities.

Ok... I swear. As in, I use swear words. As in, I do not do a whole lot of censoring. As in, for the most part, I feel that cursing adds humor to situations. As in, I do not have a testimony about not swearing.

I don't curse like a sailor, but I am no lady (when it come to my language.) I take it down a notch for certain company. It isn't about being something I am not. It is about respecting others and realizing they do not want to hear it (i.e. my mom and some other people's moms.) There are certain words that are just off limits for me because they are a bit to harsh and cross into the vulgar. There is one word that I am worried about adding to my vocabulary. The word itself doesn't offend me. In some contexts I do not appreciate it. In other contexts I am cool with it. And in other contexts, it is totes hilarious to the max. The reason I have not added this word to my repertoire is simply due to fear. My fear is that it would take over. That I would lose all intelligent language and this infamous powerful word would take over. That it would spread into my vocabulary like alien herpes in Roswell, NM (that's right, I just made a SciFi reference.)

Another friend and I have been toying with an idea. To take 1 day and use the profane word in every possible way that can be thought of. In ways that make our sentences completely incoherent and even the speaker isn't sure what is going on. We are super amused by the idea but have not had the lady balls to follow through with it. I have several friends who support my decision to use the notorious word. They want to be there to witness the christening of the word into my vocabulary. They are advocates for this extension of my jargon. This word will not make me sound more profound, adept, or enlightened... but damn...it would be funny. Another friend of mine is hesitant to support me in my use. He has pinned this word as the beginning of his downfall. (That and being an ass the first 29 years of his life.)

I have not made a decision either way quite yet. Feel free to express your opinions. But the decision is mine and mine alone. I am aware of the possible consequences of my actions. I believe one such consequence is me becoming even more awesome than I already am! (I know, you weren't sure it was possible, but one can always improve...)

For your viewing/listening pleasure.

*This post was inspired by a post written by a friend of mine. Honesty really is the best policy. I feel better after sharing. Thank you for the public forum.

Friends are clever.

I developed many talents over my years working with teenagers and their parents. One such talent is knowing how to ask questions. To ask the right questions the right way to get the true answer. I have friends that are working on this quality...

"Are you drunk or high? Or drunk and high?"

No! Are you crazy! Of course not!

The truth?
K HOLE

picture from: http://www.medanku.com/smuggling-drugs-arrested-airport/

Hahaha.

Recycling is good for the environment

I would like to say that I have been productively busy and this is the reason for my lack of posting this week. But this would be a lie. And I am not Erny the Urn. I tell truths! (Love you Eryn...) I have been busy with nonsensical things, but I have been having a grand time. I am doing a bit of recycling today. In 2009 I wrote "25 Random Things" on Facebook. So here it is...recycled and revamped a bit for the blogger.

1. I love to judge things on a scale of 1-10. I define the scale and have people report to me their feelings using a number. Taylor loves me a 100 (or "until the rainbow comes"...depending on his mood.)

2. I crave a good, solid, and entertaining last name. So far my favorites are Boots, Boozer, McCool, Bamey, and I am open to suggestions. The 2 names I am called most frequently are Jaime Boots and Jaime Bamey. Those are good names!!

3. I hurt my neck doing a series of cartwheels while at work. That's right...I was doing cartwheels at work. I have a really good job. If you are going to try doing some gymnastics while at work, I suggest you follow Baugh's example and warm up first. THIS INJURY COMES BACK EVERY OTHER MONTH. I SURE HOPE THOSE KIDS APPRECIATED MY SACRIFICE.

4. I love the steam room at the gym. I do not love naked women doing the bicycle while in the steam room at the gym.

5. When I was in the second grade I had a really scary teacher. She was old and mean. She grabbed me by my arm with her nails once. Another time she pushed me into the chalkboard and the corner of the ledge that holds the chalk ripped my shorts and gave me a huge bruise. She was terrifying. At this time I was so shy (and scared) that my teacher thought I didn't know how to read. She sent me to the special education reading class. While in this class, the special education teacher had me read some things and do some testing. The next day I was taken to the advanced reading and math classes.

6. I have been hit on by a drunk cross dresser.

7. I love to dance. I love to dance with friends or alone. I love to dance at home, clubs, bars, the street, my front porch, I especially love car dancing. Do not confuse loving to dance with being good at dancing. I love the ridiculousness of it all. Dancing for countless hours with Anekins on a cruise. Baugh imitating Salt and Peppa's "Push it" while at a dive bar in Ogden. Car dancing during several road trips to California (Beaver Las Vegas!) Karaoke/Lip Syncing nights at the MIC. Not being able to "get no satisfaction" at Cambridge. Skipping the gym and pumping up the jam in P-town. Dancing is always a good idea. Can I get an "Amen"?

8. I used to HATE my curly hair. I thought it was ridiculous looking and could not figure out why anyone would think it could possibly be cute. I now LOVE my curly hair. I feel the most myself when I let my wild mane fly free.

9. In October 2008 I had 2 important realizations, both of which I had to swallow my pride and admit to Jenessa. 1- I like to dress up for Halloween, and 2- I like to have my nails painted.

10. When I was 9 years old I was sleeping in my bedroom. I woke up and there was a man kneeling by my bed, watching me sleep. It was creepy. To make a long story short, I slept on a mattress on the floor in my parents bedroom for a good 6 or 7 months.

11. My 2009 New Year's resolution is to be able to do the splits. I will make it, and it will be amazing. I DID NOT MAKE THIS GOAL. IT IS STILL A GOAL I INTEND ON ACCOMPLISHING.

12. I am kind of a gamer. I like video games. They can't be all complicated though. I love the classic Mario Brother games. I have been known to become addicted to Dr. Mario and Tetris. There was a period of time where I was slightly addicted to Guitar Hero (but we had borrowed it and I had to cram a lot of play time in while we had it.) I am waiting for my Rock Band kit to come in the mail. When it does, its on! It is on like Donkey Kong! (Which was another game I used to be addicted to.)

13. I believe the best breakfast is candy and diet coke. (I use the term "best" loosely here, maybe I should have said "tastiest" or "healthiest.")

14. I was born in Long Beach, California. This explains why I am so ghetto fabulous.

15. I love, love, love, love to travel. I wish I could do more of it in and out of the country. So far I have gone internationally to Mexico, London, Paris, Biaritz (France), Glascow, Edinburough, Oban (Scotland), and Costa Rica. I HAVE NOW ALSO BEEN TO THE CARIBBEAN AND ALL OVER INDIA

16. I have driven the same car since I was 17 years old. My parents bought it for me and I promised them I would drive it for 10 years. I have fulfilled my promise, but the prism is running strong and I love that car. STILL ROCKIN' THE PRISM!!!

17. I have told dozens of juvenile delinquents that I am a master krumper. Where did I learn it? On the streets.

18. My friend Dan told me once that I flirt with people on accident. He said, "You think you are talking. They think you are flirting." Its true.

19. One time when my mom picked me up from work, I had to change my clothes in the car. Later that evening, my dad said to a bunch of my guy friends, "All I want to know is... how my daughter got so good at getting her clothes on and off in a car." Gotta love the papa J.

20. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being hatred and 10 being lots-o-love, I love my job a 10. I wish everyone could find as much contentment and satisfaction in an occupation. I DID LOVE THAT JOB, AND I LEFT WHILE I STILL LOVED IT. A GIRL'S GOTTA DO WHAT A GIRL'S GOTTA DO!

21. I enjoy interjecting movie/TV quotes into everyday casual conversation. There are some obscure quotes that have been thrown out there at times and I like to see who catches on. A few of my favorites, "Who's Anthony? Who's Anthony? My drummer." "We like her dad!" "Oh Kathy!" "Kill him." And of course the classic, "That's what she said." There are hundreds...Thanks BJ.

22. I thought I had mono once for an entire year...turned out I was just really bored.

23. I appear outgoing and super comfortable in all kinds of social situations. I am actually quite the introvert with moments of feeling outgoing. Chances are that inside I am a bit uncomfortable.

24. I laugh...a lot... and kinda loud. I think a lot of things are funny, and I am amused by simple things. People feel torn between liking it and hating it. On the one hand, they feel like they are starring in a def comedy jam as a headliner. One the other hand, they hang out with other people and find out they are not stand up comedians. But then they call me and I assure them that what they said is, in fact, hilarious.

25. And the twenty fifth random thing about me is... I prefer odd numbers to even numbers. I always have.

2 toilets...1 stall...

Bad news bears.

I regret to inform you that my cell phone has let all of us down this week. I went to write my weekly "Friend Text". I pulled my messages up on my phone. They were not loading. I thought, "Will you give it a second? It has to go to space!" I set the phone aside. After a minute or so I tried restarting my phone. My phone rebooted successfully. I went to my messages to try the process again...all of my messages were gone. Super lame. Lame to the max even! Totes lame to the max. (That is A LOT of lameness.) In this catastrophe I am really trying to focus on the positive things in life. Optimism will get us through this folks. We CAN do this if we support each other through it.

I am envisioning a gem for next week to make up for this one. I sure hope my friends do not disappoint!

In the meantime...

"You non-contributing zero."

I am legitimate.

There are a lot of people out there with letters after their names. Usually it is because they have worked really hard to obtain some sort of a title. They deserve these well earned letters. My dear friend Ane gets to add "M.S., LMFT" after her name. My brother is not a real doctor and gets to have "D.D.S." after his. Maybe one day I may add a Ph.D. to mine (maybe... MAYBE...stop pressuring me!) Soon I will be a certified life coach and can add "C.C." after my name if I so choose. But lately I have been thinking of some letters that should have been added after my name a LONG time ago. I have worked really hard and I think I have earned it.

I am Jaime Boots, B.F.F.


Yeah. Totes legit to the max.

(If I had older pictures on my computer, I could have made this post a lot more embarrassing for a lot more people! And there are more people I would have loved to include, but the pictures of us together are very limited...that just means I have been slacking in the picture taking department. Consider the problem rectified.)

Until next time my lovelies.

Friends are jokesters.

"Sure thing! oh wait, you're the sure thing..."

RUDE...but hilarious...and true.

As mentioned below.

First of all I want to thank Ms. Chelle for her help during my technical difficulties. It was touch and go there for a moment, but we pulled through to bring you this way average post... you're welcome.

In a previous post on drunk texting I wrote, "Keep 'em comin'!" I was intending to quote a SNL sketch from a decade ago. I thought I would share the video. The set up to the quote starts at about 2:45 (just in case you don't want to watch the whole thing.)



I think it all the time. "Keep 'em comin'!"

In closing I want to thank Loop Holes for making this youtube video possible for our viewing pleasure.

Blah

Hey Rachelle

Friends are intoxicating.

Or are they intoxicated? I had a couple of incidents of people "drunk texting" me this week. This is always entertaining. It is never a good plan for the person who has been drinking to pick up their phone. But for the sober one on the other end (me) it is a fantastic and hilarious idea. I think the typos are my favorite part.

Because I am super classy, and these drunk texters are nearly always embarrassed by their actions, I will not be divulging those messages. I hope you are not too disappointed. At least you know that if/when YOU drunk text me, I will not post about it on the internet...unless I feel there is no chance you will read this...then I might...a girl can only be so altruistic.

Keep 'em comin'!

This blog is not yet rated.

Sometimes it is difficult to keep my blog rated PG... Who am I kidding? We crossed over into PG-13 a LONG time ago!! Censoring makes things less funny. (Except muckaluckin' casserole...that's comedic genius!)

My friends are a giant part of my life. I mean, half of my posts are dedicated to their words. As we have experienced thus far, my friends are not very good at being appropriate. My advice to those that follow me blindly is this: When texting a friend that tends to be devilish, never tell this friend that you are in a location where you are not able to laugh and are expected to be quiet. Big mistake. Huge.

Clearly I am much more angelic than my friends...[long pause]... Although my accidental scandal alone may have pushed us over the edge from day 1.

Below is the only clip I could find of the TV censored version of Pineapple Express. (Which was awesome, by the way.)

The description to this youtube video is hilarious to me.
"People on television really don't like being called a casserole."

Friends are inquisitive.

"So I'm sitting here trying to be non-judgmental. To say the least its not working. I'm more perplexed as to how the majority of these people ended up married...my guess would be illicit drugs and alcohol, maybe some faked pregnancies, and the rest would be that they sincerely believed that there is someone for everyone..."

Some people should never reproduce. Our modern society has destroyed the flow of natural selection. When working in JJS, we called it "Job Security."

Sometimes I am not sure.

So my friend, Yatta (AKA my JJS weight loss contest archenemy) posted on my Facebook wall. He told me to check out a new commercial for Sun Drop Soda. I had never heard of Sun Drop before. But Yatta requested that I search youtube for this commercial because it reminded him of myself and another friend, Emily. I am not quite sure if it is a compliment or not that the video below would make someone think, "Jaime."



In the words of Emily, "Yatta wishes he could close the clubs with us!"

Friends are informative.

I was enjoying some alone time at mi casa when I got the best text of the week on the last day of the week!

"Fox news just announced that Osama bin Laden is dead!"

A friend quoted her friend by posting on FB, "Knock. Knock. Who's there? America. Pop! Pop! Pop!"